1 00:00:16,849 --> 00:00:17,891 Twelve each... 2 00:00:17,891 --> 00:00:19,727 We can wrap this up in two days. 3 00:00:19,727 --> 00:00:20,936 I don't want to be rude, 4 00:00:20,936 --> 00:00:24,148 but do you mind if I take care of all this myself? -Take a sip. 5 00:03:40,344 --> 00:03:41,511 Quiet, please. 6 00:03:41,511 --> 00:03:42,804 Sit down. 7 00:03:56,026 --> 00:03:57,319 People are mad. 8 00:03:58,028 --> 00:04:00,155 My favorite serial, 9 00:04:00,155 --> 00:04:04,409 my work, my message, it's horror. 10 00:04:15,420 --> 00:04:18,548 The great MacGregor is retiring. 11 00:04:18,674 --> 00:04:20,425 He's leaving me in the lurch 12 00:04:20,425 --> 00:04:22,928 in the middle of the 843th episode. 13 00:04:22,928 --> 00:04:24,388 Doesn't he have a contract? 14 00:04:24,388 --> 00:04:26,431 Of course, he does. 15 00:04:26,431 --> 00:04:30,185 But he also has a medical certificate saying, "No disturbing emotions." 16 00:04:30,185 --> 00:04:32,479 He doesn't want to frighten anybody anymore. 17 00:04:32,479 --> 00:04:35,440 It supposedly traumatizes him. 18 00:04:35,482 --> 00:04:37,818 He wants to star in a romantic series. 19 00:04:43,907 --> 00:04:45,701 With his teeth and all that? 20 00:04:45,784 --> 00:04:47,911 His romantic series is gonna be... 21 00:04:48,620 --> 00:04:50,914 - Is gonna be what? - Horrible. 22 00:04:51,748 --> 00:04:52,791 Get out. 23 00:04:53,375 --> 00:04:55,585 I don't pay you to be witty in my office. 24 00:04:55,585 --> 00:04:58,505 I pay you to be witty in my shows. 25 00:05:05,512 --> 00:05:06,555 Sit down. 26 00:05:18,567 --> 00:05:21,236 Maggie dear, 27 00:05:21,236 --> 00:05:24,614 bring me the file on the Dracula series. 28 00:05:33,623 --> 00:05:35,000 Don't bother, Maggie. 29 00:05:35,417 --> 00:05:37,127 These gentlemen are fired. 30 00:05:43,008 --> 00:05:44,676 You're fired. 31 00:05:46,595 --> 00:05:47,721 Sit down. 32 00:05:57,898 --> 00:05:59,232 Thank you, dear. 33 00:06:02,652 --> 00:06:04,404 What are you working on now? 34 00:06:04,404 --> 00:06:09,076 Well, we are putting the finishing touches on "The First Tears of Daphne." 35 00:06:09,534 --> 00:06:10,994 What's that? 36 00:06:11,453 --> 00:06:12,871 Come on, boss! 37 00:06:12,871 --> 00:06:14,456 That's our number one series. 38 00:06:14,456 --> 00:06:16,666 We are now at episode 138, 39 00:06:16,666 --> 00:06:19,878 and we still got 4,863 letters last week. 40 00:06:19,961 --> 00:06:21,088 Sit down. 41 00:06:22,047 --> 00:06:23,757 You're fired... 42 00:06:26,635 --> 00:06:28,345 Unless... 43 00:06:29,471 --> 00:06:32,057 Unless you make MacGregor the star 44 00:06:32,057 --> 00:06:35,936 of "The First Tears of Daphne" starting next episode, 45 00:06:37,062 --> 00:06:41,191 and unless your story becomes terrifying. Got it? 46 00:06:42,025 --> 00:06:44,778 - Terrifying! - But, boss... 47 00:06:46,029 --> 00:06:48,198 What about Errol Cooper? 48 00:06:59,251 --> 00:07:00,919 Just on the screen, morons. 49 00:07:00,919 --> 00:07:03,964 Not out in the woods somewhere! 50 00:07:04,381 --> 00:07:06,007 - Is your car down there? - Yes, boss. 51 00:07:06,007 --> 00:07:09,636 And are your cases in the trunk? - No. - They are in the trunk. 52 00:07:09,678 --> 00:07:10,929 Yes, boss. 53 00:07:11,346 --> 00:07:13,348 - Get out. - Take this! 54 00:07:14,558 --> 00:07:17,519 You're expected at MacGregor's. 55 00:07:17,519 --> 00:07:20,063 Not to have fun, but to work! 56 00:07:20,063 --> 00:07:22,107 MacGregor has prepared the ambiance. 57 00:07:22,107 --> 00:07:25,986 I hope his ambiance will give you brilliant ideas. Go! 58 00:07:52,012 --> 00:07:55,640 MacGregor! 59 00:07:57,017 --> 00:08:00,896 Romantic! 60 00:08:03,773 --> 00:08:06,234 How dare he? 61 00:08:06,526 --> 00:08:07,944 How can he do this to me? 62 00:08:16,661 --> 00:08:21,750 I've been betrayed. Betrayed! 63 00:08:59,996 --> 00:09:01,414 Is that yours, Tovarich? 64 00:09:01,748 --> 00:09:06,419 Not at all. 65 00:09:03,416 --> 00:09:09,214 Well? 66 00:09:09,214 --> 00:09:11,007 Where shall I put this? 67 00:09:11,007 --> 00:09:12,801 How should I know? 68 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:40,203 Stop. 69 00:09:40,495 --> 00:09:41,538 Why? 70 00:09:45,333 --> 00:09:46,376 I won't be long. 71 00:10:01,850 --> 00:10:03,268 I'm scared. 72 00:10:03,476 --> 00:10:04,728 Why? 73 00:10:06,563 --> 00:10:08,523 Don't worry. Drink this. 74 00:10:13,862 --> 00:10:15,864 My goodness, there is someone in the backseat. 75 00:10:16,781 --> 00:10:17,782 They drink. 76 00:10:18,116 --> 00:10:19,826 Therefore, they exist. 77 00:10:19,909 --> 00:10:22,037 Maybe they're deaf and dumb. 78 00:10:22,495 --> 00:10:23,496 We'll see. 79 00:10:24,581 --> 00:10:25,790 Drive! 80 00:10:25,790 --> 00:10:26,833 The MacGregor ambiance 81 00:10:26,833 --> 00:10:28,501 is supposed to give you brilliant ideas. 82 00:10:29,419 --> 00:10:31,463 These two ladies are part of the MacGregor ambiance. 83 00:10:31,504 --> 00:10:33,590 They're not supposed 84 00:10:33,923 --> 00:10:36,426 to be talked to, nor to be shagged. 85 00:10:37,677 --> 00:10:40,388 I don't want them to be wilted when they arrive at the chéteau. 86 00:10:40,430 --> 00:10:43,099 MacGregor wouldn't have them as his partners. 87 00:10:43,767 --> 00:10:47,145 "Dream creatures and erotic monsters."” 88 00:10:57,155 --> 00:10:58,531 I never dream, 89 00:10:59,157 --> 00:11:01,451 but believe me, an "erotic monster," 90 00:11:02,202 --> 00:11:05,163 that's different! 91 00:11:05,538 --> 00:11:09,209 Drive on. Drive on. 92 00:12:03,138 --> 00:12:06,015 How do they look to you? 93 00:12:06,433 --> 00:12:07,851 Wilted? 94 00:12:20,613 --> 00:12:22,824 I never could stand having pins and needles in my hands. 95 00:12:24,617 --> 00:12:26,786 Never ever, even when I was a kid. 96 00:12:27,662 --> 00:12:28,747 What about you? 97 00:12:28,830 --> 00:12:31,666 There's just two miles left, you know. 98 00:12:35,503 --> 00:12:38,298 What the hell did they put in these suitcases? 99 00:12:38,298 --> 00:12:39,382 None of our business. 100 00:12:39,382 --> 00:12:43,720 - Gimme that. - Take a drink. - Hurry! 101 00:12:44,888 --> 00:12:45,930 Good stuff, ain't it? 102 00:12:45,930 --> 00:12:47,474 To hell with their cases! 103 00:12:47,515 --> 00:12:49,058 We're not their lackeys. 104 00:12:49,267 --> 00:12:50,393 Goodbye! 105 00:12:50,727 --> 00:12:52,729 You're right. 106 00:15:37,977 --> 00:15:40,229 Good heavens! Our guests are here. 107 00:15:41,230 --> 00:15:44,108 How do you do? 108 00:15:48,446 --> 00:15:49,614 Come on, Abélard, 109 00:15:49,614 --> 00:15:52,158 will you light this fire or shall I call the Devil? 110 00:15:59,499 --> 00:16:01,292 I am the mistress of the house. 111 00:16:01,292 --> 00:16:04,587 My name is Germaine, and I like young and beautiful people like you. 112 00:16:05,296 --> 00:16:09,300 I am sure we'll get along. 113 00:16:09,717 --> 00:16:12,470 Abélard, show these ladies 114 00:16:12,470 --> 00:16:14,889 and these gentlemen to their rooms. 115 00:16:23,022 --> 00:16:24,816 See you soon. 116 00:16:28,569 --> 00:16:30,822 Good evening, noble friends. 117 00:16:30,822 --> 00:16:34,826 I am MacGregor. 118 00:16:36,911 --> 00:16:39,622 How do you do, sir? 119 00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:43,668 Is it Abélard 120 00:16:43,668 --> 00:16:46,504 who has put you in this lamentable state? 121 00:16:47,213 --> 00:16:48,923 Abélard, 122 00:16:48,923 --> 00:16:53,094 I already told you to treat our guests correctly. 123 00:16:53,636 --> 00:16:57,265 Do not let yourself be treated this way. Have you seen my wife? 124 00:16:57,682 --> 00:17:00,893 She used to be his. 125 00:17:01,644 --> 00:17:03,229 We've had the honor. 126 00:17:04,647 --> 00:17:05,898 Madame Germaine-- 127 00:17:05,898 --> 00:17:10,194 Don't you dare call her "Germaine"! 128 00:17:10,945 --> 00:17:12,530 But she said... 129 00:17:12,530 --> 00:17:17,285 That's enough! She believes a Christian name 130 00:17:17,618 --> 00:17:19,704 is sacred! 131 00:17:22,373 --> 00:17:23,458 I call her Héloise 132 00:17:23,458 --> 00:17:25,334 because I find it more romantic. 133 00:17:26,002 --> 00:17:28,671 Without romance, young people, we are lost. 134 00:17:28,671 --> 00:17:30,548 We are all lost. 135 00:17:30,548 --> 00:17:33,092 I was lost before I realized that. 136 00:17:34,552 --> 00:17:37,472 Only romance separates man from beasts. 137 00:17:37,847 --> 00:17:40,099 That's the reason why I married Héloise. 138 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:45,730 She is my passport to humanity. She is my soul. 139 00:17:45,772 --> 00:17:47,899 Can a soul be called "Germaine," 140 00:17:47,899 --> 00:17:51,110 I ask you? 141 00:17:51,110 --> 00:17:54,697 Abélard! Would you please be quiet? 142 00:17:56,365 --> 00:17:58,701 He is definitely not a bad guy. 143 00:17:59,285 --> 00:18:01,496 I only married Héloise after he had 144 00:18:01,496 --> 00:18:05,124 that unfortunate accident with his axe. 145 00:18:05,416 --> 00:18:08,628 A blow to his manhood. 146 00:18:08,711 --> 00:18:10,671 Beware of Abélard, my friends. 147 00:18:10,671 --> 00:18:12,048 He is so clumsy! 148 00:18:34,362 --> 00:18:35,738 See you later. 149 00:18:38,658 --> 00:18:40,076 Before I forget, 150 00:18:40,076 --> 00:18:44,080 we dress for dinner. - But, sir... 151 00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:46,332 Don't "sir" me. 152 00:18:46,332 --> 00:18:47,375 Yes, but... 153 00:18:47,875 --> 00:18:50,294 These assholes left our luggage on the side of the road. 154 00:18:50,753 --> 00:18:53,965 My dear little lady-- - Maddie. - I presume you are an actress. 155 00:18:54,674 --> 00:18:57,135 And I understand these gentlemen are screenwriters. 156 00:18:57,677 --> 00:19:00,012 You belong in the happy few 157 00:19:00,012 --> 00:19:02,723 for whom imagination is a professional duty. 158 00:19:03,474 --> 00:19:06,519 You've just entered the realm of romance. 159 00:19:07,019 --> 00:19:09,564 You didn't expect to get here in a car 160 00:19:10,106 --> 00:19:11,566 and with suitcases, did you? 161 00:19:11,566 --> 00:19:14,527 What a sacrilege it would have been! 162 00:19:15,278 --> 00:19:17,697 Here you glide on the wings of love. 163 00:19:18,447 --> 00:19:20,658 This chateau is now yours. 164 00:19:20,658 --> 00:19:23,661 Its resources are countless. 165 00:19:24,453 --> 00:19:27,248 Make good use of them. 166 00:20:32,813 --> 00:20:35,441 You're not gonna leave me in this cathedral, are you? 167 00:20:35,483 --> 00:20:36,859 But I'll be next door. 168 00:20:37,109 --> 00:20:39,195 I'm not gonna fly away. Not till I have had a shower! 169 00:20:39,195 --> 00:20:42,823 Aren't you afraid of staying alone with him? 170 00:20:42,823 --> 00:20:44,116 Abélard isn't a mean guy. 171 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:47,036 Just a little clumsy. 172 00:20:47,036 --> 00:20:48,829 Aren't you a nice boy, Abélard? 173 00:20:49,789 --> 00:20:51,457 You wild beast! 174 00:21:49,223 --> 00:21:51,517 Maddie, it's awful! 175 00:21:51,517 --> 00:21:53,477 My bathroom... - What's wrong with your bathroom? 176 00:21:53,519 --> 00:21:55,187 I'll tell you. 177 00:21:55,271 --> 00:21:58,232 Let's take a look at yours. 178 00:22:10,786 --> 00:22:13,622 - I'm going to fetch a lamp. - Go fetch a lamp. 179 00:22:21,589 --> 00:22:23,466 Look, it's blood! 180 00:22:29,388 --> 00:22:30,681 Just like in mine, it's blood! 181 00:22:30,973 --> 00:22:34,810 No, it's just rust. Don't worry, it'll stop. Go take your bath. 182 00:23:06,133 --> 00:23:09,345 I'm afraid of the dark. 183 00:23:09,345 --> 00:23:12,098 I'm afraid of the wolf. 184 00:23:16,519 --> 00:23:19,355 I can't help it. 185 00:23:19,355 --> 00:23:20,398 I'm scared of everything. 186 00:23:22,274 --> 00:23:25,027 And every night, 187 00:23:25,069 --> 00:23:27,446 till daybreak, 188 00:23:27,446 --> 00:23:32,159 I need a man to protect me from ghosts, 189 00:23:32,660 --> 00:23:37,540 to make me jump on his lap. 190 00:23:38,374 --> 00:23:41,544 I'm afraid of the dark, 191 00:23:41,544 --> 00:23:44,380 I'm afraid of the wolf. 192 00:23:48,384 --> 00:23:51,053 A wolf is sweet, 193 00:23:51,053 --> 00:23:53,973 believe me. 194 00:23:53,973 --> 00:23:57,935 A bit clumsy with black fingernails. 195 00:23:59,103 --> 00:24:02,815 Imagine a man with lots of hair. 196 00:24:02,815 --> 00:24:06,569 It's all the same! You want to be pampered? 197 00:24:06,986 --> 00:24:09,363 To be kissed on the neck? 198 00:24:10,364 --> 00:24:13,367 Try one evening 199 00:24:13,367 --> 00:24:16,245 with the wolf. 200 00:24:19,999 --> 00:24:22,585 No, I am so scared. 201 00:24:22,585 --> 00:24:25,379 A wolf is mean. 202 00:24:25,379 --> 00:24:28,048 Besides, 203 00:24:28,048 --> 00:24:30,426 it's funny 204 00:24:30,426 --> 00:24:32,428 how gentle men are 205 00:24:32,428 --> 00:24:35,097 with cowardesses! 206 00:24:35,639 --> 00:24:40,769 They can believe they're lions. 207 00:24:41,437 --> 00:24:44,523 And in the dark, 208 00:24:44,523 --> 00:24:47,776 it's so good! 209 00:24:51,197 --> 00:24:54,033 Boogeymen 210 00:24:54,033 --> 00:24:57,077 and werewolves 211 00:24:57,077 --> 00:24:59,622 don't 212 00:24:59,622 --> 00:25:01,916 impress me anymore. 213 00:25:01,916 --> 00:25:06,462 And if we don't want men to get tired of us, 214 00:25:07,046 --> 00:25:12,051 we must find stronger stuff. 215 00:25:12,927 --> 00:25:16,013 A true vampire... 216 00:25:16,013 --> 00:25:18,474 Or Dracula! 217 00:25:44,667 --> 00:25:45,918 Bring the lamp, Tovarich. 218 00:25:46,252 --> 00:25:47,294 Where are you? 219 00:25:47,336 --> 00:25:49,004 Come have a drink. 220 00:25:51,048 --> 00:25:54,927 Bring the lamp. Don't forget we must dress. 221 00:26:05,437 --> 00:26:08,148 What the hell are you waiting for? 222 00:26:32,006 --> 00:26:35,634 - Ah! There you are! - Lots of things in there! 223 00:26:36,010 --> 00:26:37,011 Look in that trunk. 224 00:26:38,637 --> 00:26:39,763 There's costumes 225 00:26:39,930 --> 00:26:41,890 for 50 series, at least! 226 00:26:42,975 --> 00:26:45,811 Hey! Look at this! 227 00:26:46,103 --> 00:26:48,814 That's his first wife's head! 228 00:26:48,814 --> 00:26:51,650 All kinds of colors! 229 00:26:51,650 --> 00:26:54,820 And look, look at this. 230 00:26:54,820 --> 00:26:56,739 Fantastic! 231 00:26:59,116 --> 00:27:02,161 - Tovarich! - Yes? 232 00:27:02,786 --> 00:27:04,079 Don't be a jerk! 233 00:27:04,079 --> 00:27:07,666 Don't play with that. 234 00:27:07,666 --> 00:27:10,586 Stop! You're tickling me! 235 00:27:11,086 --> 00:27:12,129 Enough to shoot 236 00:27:12,713 --> 00:27:13,756 ten episodes! 237 00:27:13,756 --> 00:27:16,550 - Aren't I beautiful with this? - Yes, Tovarich. 238 00:27:17,051 --> 00:27:18,052 Come here! 239 00:27:18,052 --> 00:27:21,096 - What is it? - Look at this! 240 00:27:22,222 --> 00:27:25,517 He said "dressed up,” not "made up." 241 00:27:28,896 --> 00:27:29,897 How marvelous! 242 00:27:30,606 --> 00:27:33,317 Are you gay? 243 00:27:31,690 --> 00:27:33,442 You never told me! 244 00:27:33,442 --> 00:27:35,277 Stop kidding, will you? 245 00:27:35,319 --> 00:27:37,613 My grandfather made up all the Russian court. 246 00:27:37,613 --> 00:27:39,531 And my father, the Ballets Russes. 247 00:27:39,531 --> 00:27:41,700 I'm a make-up man at heart, do you understand? 248 00:27:42,117 --> 00:27:45,829 And that's why I picked you up in front of the fire exit? 249 00:27:47,956 --> 00:27:52,795 Yes, Tovarich. They didn't understand me because I was ahead of my time. 250 00:27:52,878 --> 00:27:55,881 I was the make-up man of tomorrow. 251 00:27:55,881 --> 00:27:58,467 Let's get to work. 252 00:27:58,967 --> 00:28:01,261 - Where are the girls? - Over there. 253 00:28:05,599 --> 00:28:09,186 Imagine them completely naked, 254 00:28:09,478 --> 00:28:13,023 made-up from head to toe... 255 00:28:13,065 --> 00:28:14,149 Gorgeous! 256 00:28:21,031 --> 00:28:23,117 Don't bother to knock! 257 00:28:27,079 --> 00:28:28,497 What the hell are you doing? 258 00:28:28,497 --> 00:28:31,792 Haute couture! 259 00:28:31,834 --> 00:28:35,003 - You voyeur! - You perv! 260 00:29:22,801 --> 00:29:24,678 Dear young friends, 261 00:29:24,678 --> 00:29:29,808 you are looking at the last great master of horror. 262 00:29:29,808 --> 00:29:32,060 Who would dare to claim this title after MacGregor? 263 00:29:33,645 --> 00:29:35,731 Horror is dead, 264 00:29:36,106 --> 00:29:37,900 and, being dead, 265 00:29:37,900 --> 00:29:39,568 it doesn't frighten anybody. 266 00:29:39,568 --> 00:29:40,736 - But Mr. Gregor... - Mac! 267 00:29:41,695 --> 00:29:44,364 We are going to be fired. 268 00:29:44,364 --> 00:29:45,866 The boss said... 269 00:29:45,866 --> 00:29:49,411 The future is in romance. 270 00:29:49,620 --> 00:29:52,080 It's the only truth, the only beauty. 271 00:29:53,999 --> 00:29:55,584 Remember what Boileau said: 272 00:29:55,584 --> 00:29:58,670 "Only what's true is beautiful. Only what's true is attractive." 273 00:29:59,004 --> 00:30:03,383 But, Mr. MacGregor, we've been selling romance for ten years. 274 00:30:03,383 --> 00:30:06,178 I've just landed on these fragrant shores, 275 00:30:06,970 --> 00:30:09,181 but we shall see what we shall see! 276 00:30:09,681 --> 00:30:11,725 It better be a blast. Otherwise... 277 00:30:12,684 --> 00:30:14,144 Come on, Mr. Mac... 278 00:30:14,144 --> 00:30:16,855 - Gregor! - Gregor. - Mac! 279 00:30:17,064 --> 00:30:18,899 Well, seriously, 280 00:30:18,899 --> 00:30:20,442 why don't you want us 281 00:30:20,442 --> 00:30:23,028 to turn out a nice little romantic horror film? 282 00:30:23,654 --> 00:30:26,114 Romance is awful, don't you agree? 283 00:30:31,453 --> 00:30:32,663 What she means is 284 00:30:32,704 --> 00:30:35,457 horror is romantic, 285 00:30:36,708 --> 00:30:39,294 because if we... 286 00:30:39,545 --> 00:30:42,297 And Mrs. Héloise could play with us. 287 00:30:42,506 --> 00:30:44,800 Don't laugh! 288 00:30:44,883 --> 00:30:47,594 You should pray that you'll be like my wife one day. 289 00:30:48,929 --> 00:30:52,015 It's Héloise who took my hand 290 00:30:52,015 --> 00:30:54,893 and guided me along the glorious paths of romance. 291 00:30:55,394 --> 00:30:57,145 I would chase her 292 00:30:57,145 --> 00:30:58,146 night after night, 293 00:30:58,146 --> 00:31:00,190 from dusk to dawn, 294 00:31:00,983 --> 00:31:02,359 in the forest, 295 00:31:03,193 --> 00:31:04,987 in the moonlight. 296 00:31:05,153 --> 00:31:06,822 In the moonlight? 297 00:31:07,823 --> 00:31:09,408 And I was naked, 298 00:31:09,408 --> 00:31:11,243 my dear sir. 299 00:31:11,243 --> 00:31:12,286 Naked! 300 00:31:12,786 --> 00:31:15,998 Yes, Antoine. 301 00:31:15,998 --> 00:31:17,249 Alfred. 302 00:31:17,708 --> 00:31:18,709 Oh, yes. 303 00:31:19,376 --> 00:31:20,836 Alfred. 304 00:31:22,045 --> 00:31:25,257 Like Alfred de Vigny, dear. Like Alfred de Musset. 305 00:31:25,757 --> 00:31:27,175 Like Hitchcock! 306 00:31:27,175 --> 00:31:30,554 Alfred is a very honorable name. 307 00:31:30,929 --> 00:31:32,931 Maybe, but nevertheless I wish 308 00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:35,851 his name were Antoine. 309 00:31:50,324 --> 00:31:51,450 Abélard! 310 00:31:51,742 --> 00:31:52,743 Leave this, my friend. 311 00:31:52,743 --> 00:31:55,370 This does not suit your dignity. 312 00:31:55,746 --> 00:32:00,792 After all, you were my wife's first husband. 313 00:32:05,964 --> 00:32:07,341 Don't bother. 314 00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:20,687 Young lady, 315 00:32:20,687 --> 00:32:23,148 will you be so kind as to grant me this waltz? 316 00:32:23,148 --> 00:32:24,566 What waltz? 317 00:36:47,787 --> 00:36:50,749 Amateur work. 318 00:36:54,169 --> 00:36:55,170 Boris, 319 00:36:55,837 --> 00:36:57,464 why did you do that? 320 00:36:58,048 --> 00:36:59,090 Boris? 321 00:36:59,382 --> 00:37:01,635 Why? 322 00:37:43,593 --> 00:37:46,554 How about getting some candles? 323 00:37:46,554 --> 00:37:48,348 Let's go find some. 324 00:38:31,808 --> 00:38:33,018 Where is he? 325 00:38:33,018 --> 00:38:35,770 Nobody gave a damn about me. I got fed up! 326 00:38:36,271 --> 00:38:39,107 Come on in, girls. 327 00:38:39,107 --> 00:38:42,152 He's a lousy screenwriter, but an outstanding make-up artist. 328 00:38:42,152 --> 00:38:44,279 He just doesn't know when he's gone too far. 329 00:38:45,697 --> 00:38:46,698 Well, well, it was 330 00:38:46,698 --> 00:38:48,575 romance time. 331 00:38:49,367 --> 00:38:52,370 And if the boss had seen us, he would have fired us all. 332 00:38:53,121 --> 00:38:55,290 We had to break ol' Mac's romantic spell. 333 00:38:56,458 --> 00:38:58,543 We all agreed to bring him back on the horror track 334 00:38:58,543 --> 00:38:59,753 with a kick in the ass. 335 00:38:59,961 --> 00:39:02,005 I did my best. 336 00:39:02,422 --> 00:39:05,675 You'll have to come up with something else. Old Mac wasn't shook up. 337 00:39:06,468 --> 00:39:09,679 He only said, "Amateur work." 338 00:39:10,096 --> 00:39:13,558 Shall I ask if anybody's got any ideas? 339 00:40:39,936 --> 00:40:41,646 Alfred! 340 00:40:45,859 --> 00:40:46,860 No! 341 00:40:46,860 --> 00:40:48,069 You're cheating! 342 00:41:00,540 --> 00:41:04,419 No, no, no, no! 343 00:41:13,011 --> 00:41:14,053 Well done! 344 00:41:23,354 --> 00:41:25,815 You coming? 345 00:41:28,026 --> 00:41:29,027 Right away, 346 00:41:29,027 --> 00:41:30,445 sweetie pie. 347 00:42:37,595 --> 00:42:39,514 Go back to your room, you lecher! 348 00:42:40,014 --> 00:42:41,683 I can't do two things at the same time. 349 00:42:41,683 --> 00:42:42,809 What two things? 350 00:42:42,809 --> 00:42:44,811 - Making love and dying of fright. - But, Maddie... 351 00:42:45,436 --> 00:42:46,980 There's no Maddie here. You just came 352 00:42:46,980 --> 00:42:48,147 to help me undo my dress. 353 00:42:48,147 --> 00:42:50,066 You promised. Now, leave me. 354 00:42:50,066 --> 00:42:52,193 I'm scared, too. 355 00:42:52,277 --> 00:42:54,237 I'm staying here. 356 00:42:56,030 --> 00:42:57,198 Then I'm leaving. 357 00:42:58,700 --> 00:43:02,537 I'll sleep in your room. And I warn you, 358 00:43:02,537 --> 00:43:04,247 I don't want to see you before breakfast. 359 00:43:04,247 --> 00:43:05,873 But, Maddie... 360 00:43:50,209 --> 00:43:51,502 I want to see myself. 361 00:43:51,502 --> 00:43:53,880 You better not, darling. 362 00:43:54,088 --> 00:43:55,798 You'd drop dead. 363 00:43:55,798 --> 00:43:57,592 And what could we do with a corpse, 364 00:43:57,592 --> 00:44:00,011 tell me? 365 00:44:01,095 --> 00:44:04,098 And don't act like this moron. Don't wake up after five minutes 366 00:44:04,098 --> 00:44:05,183 with a big smile. 367 00:44:05,183 --> 00:44:07,310 I'm not an actress! 368 00:44:07,685 --> 00:44:09,520 I'm so scared! 369 00:44:11,397 --> 00:44:14,609 Let's go scare Uncle MacGregor! 370 00:44:15,526 --> 00:44:18,279 - What shall I do? - First, don't speak so loud. 371 00:44:18,613 --> 00:44:20,031 What must I do? 372 00:44:20,281 --> 00:44:21,866 You shout and you play dead. 373 00:44:21,866 --> 00:44:22,992 Piece of cake. 374 00:44:31,376 --> 00:44:35,922 Like this. 375 00:45:33,855 --> 00:45:36,023 Marie has disappeared. 376 00:45:37,692 --> 00:45:38,943 And the old man, 377 00:45:40,111 --> 00:45:42,697 either he is dead or else he wasn't even frightened. 378 00:45:42,822 --> 00:45:44,031 I heard nothing. 379 00:45:44,907 --> 00:45:46,909 It's terrible. 380 00:45:47,201 --> 00:45:48,953 We're not cut out for horror. 381 00:45:48,953 --> 00:45:50,037 It's hopeless. 382 00:46:37,376 --> 00:46:39,003 Tovarich, there's someone in your room. 383 00:46:39,003 --> 00:46:41,964 I know. Something huge, monstrous, jumping on the bed, going, 384 00:46:41,964 --> 00:46:43,424 "Boom, boom, boom, boom." 385 00:46:43,841 --> 00:46:44,884 I'm exhausted. 386 00:46:44,884 --> 00:46:45,968 I'm not moving from here. 387 00:46:45,968 --> 00:46:48,429 All three of us will sleep here. 388 00:46:52,099 --> 00:46:53,476 Ah, no! 389 00:46:53,476 --> 00:46:55,895 Okay, we'll leave you alone. 390 00:46:57,522 --> 00:46:59,941 We'll go to Marie's room. 391 00:47:00,858 --> 00:47:02,485 All right, all right. 392 00:49:58,744 --> 00:50:02,289 Did you sleep well? Did the night 393 00:50:02,289 --> 00:50:06,585 inspire you with romantic ideas to help me in my new direction? 394 00:50:06,585 --> 00:50:09,505 But Mr. MacGregor, if you give up horror, 395 00:50:10,047 --> 00:50:12,174 who will pick up the torch? 396 00:50:12,174 --> 00:50:13,718 In horror, my young friend, 397 00:50:13,718 --> 00:50:18,055 there's no torch. Only dark-lanterns. 398 00:50:18,681 --> 00:50:21,058 So, you're on the wrong track, 399 00:50:21,058 --> 00:50:22,601 my young friend. 400 00:50:35,698 --> 00:50:38,993 How delicious! 401 00:50:40,327 --> 00:50:42,663 Would you like Abélard to make you some for you to taste? 402 00:50:43,122 --> 00:50:44,457 It's a pity. 403 00:50:44,749 --> 00:50:47,001 He can prepare chicken blood like no one else. 404 00:51:04,477 --> 00:51:07,396 Héloise, please. 405 00:51:07,396 --> 00:51:09,648 Quiet! He's talking to me. 406 00:51:09,648 --> 00:51:12,818 I see... I see... 407 00:51:12,818 --> 00:51:14,028 Unhappiness, 408 00:51:15,112 --> 00:51:18,282 great unhappiness. 409 00:51:18,282 --> 00:51:20,117 Germaine, once again, 410 00:51:20,117 --> 00:51:22,578 stop this nonsense. 411 00:51:24,538 --> 00:51:26,123 Héloise! 412 00:51:26,123 --> 00:51:27,625 Ah, yes, of course, 413 00:51:27,625 --> 00:51:29,043 Héloise. It's all right, all right, 414 00:51:29,126 --> 00:51:31,378 but never do this again. 415 00:52:06,914 --> 00:52:08,541 He's cut himself again! 416 00:52:08,541 --> 00:52:10,835 I wonder what he's lost this time. 417 00:52:38,112 --> 00:52:39,405 Men spend their lives 418 00:52:39,405 --> 00:52:42,533 losing pieces of their souls and of their bodies. 419 00:52:42,533 --> 00:52:44,577 Each time it happens, they cry out in pain. 420 00:52:44,743 --> 00:52:46,120 That's what romance is about: 421 00:52:46,120 --> 00:52:50,457 the cries of man, sowing the pieces of his life behind him. 422 00:52:51,292 --> 00:52:53,794 Never shall I make my audience scream in fear. 423 00:52:54,003 --> 00:52:55,921 Cries of fear are insignificant. 424 00:52:55,921 --> 00:52:58,883 From now on, I only want to hear 425 00:52:59,133 --> 00:53:00,551 cries of body and mind. 426 00:53:00,634 --> 00:53:02,761 Come with me, you'll soon understand. 427 00:53:02,761 --> 00:53:05,431 Believe me, you'll soon understand! 428 00:53:06,891 --> 00:53:09,393 I'm going to take a little nap. 429 00:53:09,393 --> 00:53:10,561 Sleep. 430 00:53:10,936 --> 00:53:12,479 Ah, sleep. 431 00:53:13,355 --> 00:53:16,984 Sleeping is wonderful. The time has come for me to learn how to sleep. 432 00:53:17,776 --> 00:53:19,361 Do you often dream, dear? 433 00:53:19,361 --> 00:53:21,363 I had a dream last night. 434 00:53:21,363 --> 00:53:23,365 Tell me! 435 00:53:23,407 --> 00:53:25,910 I was naked 436 00:53:25,910 --> 00:53:28,120 and there were hands running over me. 437 00:53:28,120 --> 00:53:30,164 Many hands, getting harder and harder, 438 00:53:30,456 --> 00:53:32,541 running faster and faster all over me. 439 00:53:32,541 --> 00:53:35,544 They burned like lashes from a whip. 440 00:53:35,753 --> 00:53:37,755 But I was colder and colder, 441 00:53:38,839 --> 00:53:41,175 and all the hands took hold of my waist. 442 00:53:41,884 --> 00:53:44,845 And I seemed to be cut in two, 443 00:53:44,845 --> 00:53:48,015 but it didn't hurt, because I was so cold. 444 00:53:49,850 --> 00:53:52,561 Then your hands 445 00:53:52,937 --> 00:53:54,271 and MacGregor's 446 00:53:54,271 --> 00:53:56,190 began to warm me, 447 00:53:56,482 --> 00:53:59,443 and I was almost dead and I was almost happy. 448 00:54:00,986 --> 00:54:02,529 I didn't cry out. 449 00:54:02,905 --> 00:54:04,490 I remember 450 00:54:04,573 --> 00:54:06,325 I didn't cry. 451 00:54:27,388 --> 00:54:30,140 Finger bandage, 452 00:54:30,140 --> 00:54:34,144 who are you for? 453 00:54:35,479 --> 00:54:37,940 Maybe 454 00:54:37,940 --> 00:54:42,486 for my teddy bear who won't be able to suck his thumb. 455 00:54:42,903 --> 00:54:47,533 But don't worry, 456 00:54:48,784 --> 00:54:51,745 we'll find 457 00:54:51,745 --> 00:54:55,249 something softer. 458 00:54:56,083 --> 00:54:58,127 Now, because you've been a good boy, 459 00:54:58,127 --> 00:55:02,339 here's Abe-love's reward! 460 00:55:29,575 --> 00:55:34,371 This world is dead, my dear Alfred. I sacrificed it on the Altar of Love. 461 00:55:35,039 --> 00:55:40,044 Héloise has changed my life. There's no longer any place for terror. 462 00:55:40,044 --> 00:55:43,839 She has drawn me towards a world where hearts palpitate, 463 00:55:44,131 --> 00:55:48,093 not in torture chambers, but beneath chaste bodices. 464 00:55:48,677 --> 00:55:52,556 She's managed to free me from my grandfather's ghost. 465 00:55:52,890 --> 00:55:55,100 It took me forty years to bury him. 466 00:55:56,185 --> 00:55:58,645 Forty years to bury a gravedigger! 467 00:55:58,687 --> 00:56:00,439 Isn't it ironic? 468 00:56:21,168 --> 00:56:22,252 May your father and mother 469 00:56:22,252 --> 00:56:24,922 rest in peace! 470 00:56:25,089 --> 00:56:27,800 May God keep them in His holy care! 471 00:56:28,467 --> 00:56:31,720 You are the last of the MacGregors. 472 00:56:43,732 --> 00:56:45,109 My grandfather... 473 00:56:46,193 --> 00:56:48,570 He was as old as the hills, 474 00:56:48,570 --> 00:56:50,572 a gravedigger like his father and like mine. 475 00:56:50,864 --> 00:56:51,990 And I was blond. 476 00:56:52,032 --> 00:56:55,202 Yes, I remember. I was blond and I was alone then. 477 00:57:24,773 --> 00:57:26,024 What do you want to be 478 00:57:26,024 --> 00:57:28,068 when you are older? 479 00:57:34,491 --> 00:57:37,202 If you want, I'll teach you to be a gravedigger. 480 00:57:37,202 --> 00:57:39,329 It's a good job. 481 00:58:12,112 --> 00:58:14,990 I want to be an actor like them. 482 00:58:19,077 --> 00:58:23,790 Actor. Actor! 483 00:58:25,584 --> 00:58:27,169 I've been scaring people for forty years. 484 00:58:27,169 --> 00:58:28,545 I bleed helpless creatures dry. 485 00:58:28,545 --> 00:58:32,299 I dig up and I bury bodies like my grandfather. 486 00:58:33,926 --> 00:58:35,344 Good-for-nothing slobs! Hooligans! 487 00:58:35,385 --> 00:58:38,931 Sluggards! Child-snatchers! Soul-destroyers! 488 00:58:40,307 --> 00:58:42,476 You little devil! 489 00:58:42,976 --> 00:58:45,479 Do you know what happens to traveling players? 490 00:58:45,479 --> 00:58:48,106 They are buried without God, by the side of the road. 491 00:58:49,107 --> 00:58:50,108 Come now. 492 00:58:50,108 --> 00:58:52,486 Come with me or you'll be cursed! 493 00:58:53,153 --> 00:58:56,198 Cursed till the end of days. 494 00:59:07,167 --> 00:59:08,710 Yes, I chose 495 00:59:08,710 --> 00:59:11,797 to be cursed, my dear Alfred. 496 00:59:12,714 --> 00:59:14,841 It killed my grandfather. 497 00:59:41,076 --> 00:59:42,494 When I caught up with the gypsies, 498 00:59:42,494 --> 00:59:44,413 their wagon had toppled over. 499 00:59:45,289 --> 00:59:46,456 My grandfather's hearse 500 00:59:46,456 --> 00:59:48,792 carried me down the roads of dream and fantasy. 501 00:59:50,419 --> 00:59:52,546 A new life started for me. 502 00:59:52,546 --> 00:59:54,590 I was going to be an actor. 503 01:00:36,006 --> 01:00:37,341 And the ghost of my grandfather-- 504 01:00:37,341 --> 01:00:39,426 left alone, unburied-- 505 01:00:39,760 --> 01:00:42,929 Haunted all my roles. 506 01:00:43,055 --> 01:00:44,598 Ironically, my first role 507 01:00:44,598 --> 01:00:47,559 was the gravedigger in "Hamlet." 508 01:00:47,768 --> 01:00:49,936 You see, dear Alfred, it's not in drama schools 509 01:00:49,936 --> 01:00:53,982 that you learn how to be a high priest of horror. 510 01:00:59,696 --> 01:01:02,157 Come, don't be afraid. 511 01:01:02,157 --> 01:01:05,702 Come and see Uncle MacGregor's album. 512 01:01:07,788 --> 01:01:08,872 How beautiful! 513 01:01:10,582 --> 01:01:12,501 But what's this instrument? 514 01:01:12,501 --> 01:01:14,211 A torture chair. 515 01:01:14,211 --> 01:01:19,341 I'll show you the real thing, in perfect working order. 516 01:01:19,716 --> 01:01:20,759 Will you scare me 517 01:01:20,801 --> 01:01:22,969 if I promise to be nice, Uncle Mac? 518 01:01:22,969 --> 01:01:24,012 I'll scare you 519 01:01:24,012 --> 01:01:26,473 if you promise not to be! 520 01:01:26,807 --> 01:01:32,562 Are you comfortable? 521 01:01:28,850 --> 01:01:32,562 Come, Antoine, I want to show you 522 01:01:32,562 --> 01:01:34,940 my own little collection. 523 01:01:48,745 --> 01:01:56,086 Wanna try? 524 01:01:56,086 --> 01:01:52,540 Sorry. 525 01:01:52,541 --> 01:01:53,875 Take it. 526 01:01:53,875 --> 01:01:57,295 I-.- I-.- 527 01:01:57,754 --> 01:01:59,214 Where are you going? 528 01:01:59,464 --> 01:02:01,258 I forgot something in my room. 529 01:02:01,258 --> 01:02:02,300 Antoine. 530 01:02:02,300 --> 01:02:06,430 I'll be right back. - Antoine! Antoine! 531 01:02:23,363 --> 01:02:25,907 Trouble in paradise, my dear dove? 532 01:02:27,033 --> 01:02:30,120 Has the handsome Alfred run away? 533 01:02:30,203 --> 01:02:32,706 And you, little slut... 534 01:02:32,706 --> 01:02:35,500 Monster! Vampire seed! 535 01:02:36,084 --> 01:02:38,211 Aren't you ashamed to take advantage of 536 01:02:38,211 --> 01:02:39,629 the weakness of a pure heart? 537 01:02:39,629 --> 01:02:40,714 Come on, dear. 538 01:02:40,714 --> 01:02:42,883 She wasn't taking advantage of me. 539 01:02:42,883 --> 01:02:45,844 I was only showing her how the chair works. 540 01:02:47,721 --> 01:02:48,805 You see? 541 01:02:57,355 --> 01:02:58,356 Oh, no! 542 01:03:01,109 --> 01:03:02,194 Boris! 543 01:03:04,738 --> 01:03:07,616 Stop playing games. Get up and go take a bath. 544 01:03:25,217 --> 01:03:26,676 Boris! 545 01:03:37,437 --> 01:03:40,649 I didn't do it! He did! - Who? 546 01:03:41,107 --> 01:03:43,109 Have a drink. 547 01:03:45,320 --> 01:03:47,364 He's gone berserk, Tovarich! 548 01:03:48,657 --> 01:03:51,409 [Speaks Russian] 549 01:03:52,327 --> 01:03:54,538 Berserk! 550 01:03:54,538 --> 01:03:55,580 Maddie's dead. 551 01:03:55,580 --> 01:03:58,166 Very much so. 552 01:03:58,166 --> 01:04:02,379 She must have made a pass at him. You know how tactful she could be. 553 01:04:02,712 --> 01:04:03,755 So what? 554 01:04:03,755 --> 01:04:06,341 Come on, Tovarich. 555 01:04:06,341 --> 01:04:08,426 He's lost his marbles... And balls, too. 556 01:04:08,426 --> 01:04:10,428 It's crystal queer! 557 01:04:55,223 --> 01:04:57,559 I think I can handle him. Go get help. 558 01:04:57,559 --> 01:04:59,060 Call the cops, if you have to! 559 01:05:03,231 --> 01:05:04,524 Help! 560 01:05:04,733 --> 01:05:08,695 MacGregor! MacGregor! 561 01:05:09,237 --> 01:05:10,989 Stop your silly games now, 562 01:05:10,989 --> 01:05:11,990 Madeleine is dead. 563 01:05:12,032 --> 01:05:14,659 The village idiot stuck his axe in her back. 564 01:05:18,204 --> 01:05:21,958 What happened? 565 01:05:22,000 --> 01:05:24,044 When you left, the old witch blew a fuse. 566 01:05:24,085 --> 01:05:26,046 She hit him with her whip. 567 01:05:26,046 --> 01:05:27,339 He dropped dead. 568 01:05:27,380 --> 01:05:30,008 The candles! What have you done with the candles? Go get them. 569 01:05:30,008 --> 01:05:33,303 Stop it, will you? And you, what kind of act are you performing? 570 01:05:33,803 --> 01:05:35,013 It's useless. They're solid. 571 01:05:35,472 --> 01:05:37,641 They strapped me in just before he dropped dead. 572 01:05:38,099 --> 01:05:41,603 If you hadn't run away to protect your virtue, I wouldn't be here now! 573 01:05:41,853 --> 01:05:43,855 But if I had run away sooner, 574 01:05:43,855 --> 01:05:46,107 Madeleine might still be alive. 575 01:05:46,107 --> 01:05:47,359 It seems that our little trip 576 01:05:47,400 --> 01:05:48,902 is turning into a bad trip. 577 01:05:50,779 --> 01:05:52,238 Don't worry, Marie, 578 01:05:52,864 --> 01:05:54,908 I'm here now. I'm with you. 579 01:05:54,908 --> 01:05:57,035 I won't leave you again. 580 01:06:28,274 --> 01:06:29,359 Madeleine is dead! 581 01:06:29,401 --> 01:06:30,568 We have to call the cops. 582 01:06:30,568 --> 01:06:33,321 Where's the telephone? 583 01:06:33,613 --> 01:06:35,365 The telephone? 584 01:06:35,365 --> 01:06:38,034 Did you hear that, MacGregor? 585 01:06:38,034 --> 01:06:40,662 Mr. Horror-Screenwriter wants to know 586 01:06:40,662 --> 01:06:42,372 where the phone is! 587 01:06:46,334 --> 01:06:47,377 Alfred! 588 01:06:48,378 --> 01:06:51,047 Héloise, stop! 589 01:06:52,424 --> 01:06:54,509 Wait! 590 01:07:02,851 --> 01:07:03,893 Stop. 591 01:07:04,728 --> 01:07:07,105 Sit down, Antoine! 592 01:07:11,192 --> 01:07:13,486 And now you are going to die. 593 01:07:13,570 --> 01:07:15,780 And you, too, little slut! 594 01:07:17,532 --> 01:07:18,700 What do I care 595 01:07:18,700 --> 01:07:20,744 if the whole world dies? 596 01:07:20,744 --> 01:07:22,454 MacGregor is no more. 597 01:07:23,329 --> 01:07:26,374 I'll grow old alone in this chateau. 598 01:07:28,168 --> 01:07:31,087 How romantic, don't you think? 599 01:07:32,464 --> 01:07:34,841 How nice of you to come and see 600 01:07:34,841 --> 01:07:36,885 a lonely old lady! 601 01:07:38,178 --> 01:07:39,846 Will you have a cup of tea? 602 01:07:39,846 --> 01:07:41,473 Yes, yes, just a small cup. 603 01:07:41,473 --> 01:07:43,308 I'll go and get it for you. 604 01:07:47,145 --> 01:07:49,147 She's out of her mind. 605 01:07:49,147 --> 01:07:50,315 And dangerous. 606 01:07:50,315 --> 01:07:58,990 And strong as an ox. She lifted the old man up onto the table all by herself. 607 01:07:56,696 --> 01:08:01,618 What the hell is she doing? 608 01:08:01,618 --> 01:08:03,453 She's getting undressed! 609 01:08:03,453 --> 01:08:05,747 That's all we need! 610 01:08:32,148 --> 01:08:34,859 Yes, you are going to die, Antoine. 611 01:08:35,693 --> 01:08:39,197 But first, I'll grant you one last hour of bliss. 612 01:08:44,786 --> 01:08:47,872 You're going to love me like a beast. 613 01:08:47,872 --> 01:08:50,375 I want you to give me a child 614 01:08:50,375 --> 01:08:53,294 so that I'll never be alone in this chateau. 615 01:08:55,046 --> 01:08:57,340 I love you, Antoine. 616 01:08:57,340 --> 01:09:00,468 If I unstrap one of your hands, you'll use it to give me pleasure, 617 01:09:00,593 --> 01:09:01,845 won't you? 618 01:09:01,845 --> 01:09:03,847 Unstrap me, Héloise! 619 01:09:07,350 --> 01:09:12,730 No, no, no, naughty boy! - Alfred! 620 01:09:16,776 --> 01:09:18,695 You're so handsome! 621 01:09:19,279 --> 01:09:21,906 Why are you so mean to your little Héloise? 622 01:09:23,032 --> 01:09:25,660 You're going to love me. 623 01:09:25,660 --> 01:09:28,204 You will beg to make love to me. 624 01:09:28,913 --> 01:09:32,500 You're so handsome! 625 01:09:32,959 --> 01:09:35,253 Isn't he handsome? 626 01:09:35,253 --> 01:09:37,338 His legs are like oak trees. 627 01:09:38,631 --> 01:09:41,426 Do you love me, Antoine? 628 01:09:41,426 --> 01:09:43,636 Then wait for me. 629 01:09:45,346 --> 01:09:49,893 You have to learn to wait for the woman you love, Antoine. 630 01:09:58,276 --> 01:09:59,903 Have you seen his legs? 631 01:09:59,903 --> 01:10:01,779 Two oaks. 632 01:10:02,363 --> 01:10:04,240 No better place to carve a name. 633 01:10:04,240 --> 01:10:05,742 Not just my initials. 634 01:10:05,742 --> 01:10:07,911 My whole name. 635 01:10:08,119 --> 01:10:11,247 Maybe you thought that I would carve a heart with an arrow? 636 01:10:12,165 --> 01:10:15,168 No, I am going to carve every single letter 637 01:10:15,376 --> 01:10:17,378 H-E-L-O-I-S-E. 638 01:10:33,811 --> 01:10:35,980 Oh, you are going to love me, Antoine! 639 01:10:38,608 --> 01:10:43,279 We'll roll on the floor and we'll be covered with blood-- yours and mine, 640 01:10:44,864 --> 01:10:47,450 because I'll be a virgin. 641 01:10:48,326 --> 01:10:51,120 I won't have to compel you to love me, will 1? 642 01:10:58,544 --> 01:11:00,672 Because, you see, maybe Abélard 643 01:11:00,672 --> 01:11:02,966 didn't mutilate himself with his axe so long ago. 644 01:11:04,467 --> 01:11:05,843 Maybe I did it. 645 01:11:06,886 --> 01:11:10,223 MacGregor knows how to make you forget. 646 01:11:10,223 --> 01:11:12,558 Or perhaps he did it? 647 01:11:13,810 --> 01:11:16,104 He wanted to marry me so badly! 648 01:11:16,604 --> 01:11:19,023 Didn't you, MacGregor? 649 01:11:32,245 --> 01:11:35,873 Germaine, how many times did I tell you 650 01:11:35,873 --> 01:11:39,127 not to resuscitate me in such a brutal way? 651 01:11:39,252 --> 01:11:41,504 Sorry, MacGregor. I won't do it again. 652 01:11:41,629 --> 01:11:44,215 It's bad for my heart. 653 01:11:47,468 --> 01:11:48,803 Is she ready? 654 01:11:48,803 --> 01:11:51,014 Yes, I did what you told me to. 655 01:11:52,223 --> 01:11:54,225 Unstrap her. 656 01:12:36,642 --> 01:12:38,061 Oh, no, please don't. 657 01:12:38,061 --> 01:12:40,313 I'm still a virgin. 658 01:12:40,772 --> 01:12:45,526 A virgin, Héloise. 659 01:12:45,777 --> 01:12:50,323 I have found a virgin! 660 01:12:51,324 --> 01:12:54,911 Come, my dove, my little gazelle, 661 01:12:54,952 --> 01:12:56,871 my angel. 662 01:12:57,622 --> 01:12:59,874 You will be dazzled by 100,000 suns. 663 01:13:00,500 --> 01:13:03,628 And our child will have the genius of all the Draculas on Earth 664 01:13:03,628 --> 01:13:06,923 and the beauty of all the virgins in the world. 665 01:13:07,298 --> 01:13:09,926 You'll spend your whole life bowing down to this child. 666 01:13:10,343 --> 01:13:13,888 I'll exist in his eyes, I'll be his soul! 667 01:13:13,930 --> 01:13:15,890 MacGregor, you're making me dizzy! 668 01:13:15,890 --> 01:13:18,267 Not now, will you? - Stop it, MacGregor! 669 01:13:18,684 --> 01:13:20,019 Why? She loves it, you know. 670 01:13:20,019 --> 01:13:22,063 Madeleine is dead! 671 01:13:22,939 --> 01:13:25,191 How sad! How did it happen? 672 01:13:25,191 --> 01:13:28,152 Abélard stabbed her in the back with his axe. 673 01:13:29,695 --> 01:13:32,031 What a clumsy fellow! 674 01:13:32,031 --> 01:13:34,700 And how do you know that, young man? 675 01:13:34,700 --> 01:13:37,495 I saw the body, I touched it! 676 01:13:37,745 --> 01:13:38,788 Where is it? 677 01:13:38,788 --> 01:13:40,706 In the corridor. 678 01:13:40,998 --> 01:13:42,875 You sure? 679 01:13:46,963 --> 01:13:50,133 Are you sure? 680 01:13:58,099 --> 01:13:54,428 With tits and bits of dead bodies, some of which were very old, 681 01:13:54,429 --> 01:13:55,763 You're looking at somebody 682 01:13:55,763 --> 01:13:58,099 who has created living beings 683 01:14:01,561 --> 01:14:03,146 older than the Earth. 684 01:14:03,146 --> 01:14:05,356 Aren't you exaggerating, dear? 685 01:14:05,773 --> 01:14:06,899 Exaggerating? 686 01:14:06,899 --> 01:14:08,818 Don't you remember Louve de Turville? 687 01:14:08,818 --> 01:14:10,903 You're right. He was very strong. 688 01:14:11,154 --> 01:14:15,783 Strong as an elephant, and practically immortal. 689 01:14:15,783 --> 01:14:17,660 You can get up now. 690 01:14:17,660 --> 01:14:20,621 Maybe, but he was not that attractive. 691 01:14:20,621 --> 01:14:22,623 You can't win 'em all, dear! 692 01:14:25,418 --> 01:14:27,920 Look at the waist of this bird of paradise. 693 01:14:28,713 --> 01:14:32,842 Don't you remember last night? 694 01:14:31,007 --> 01:14:37,763 Touch it! 695 01:14:37,763 --> 01:14:42,143 Touch it! Isn't it stunningly smooth? 696 01:14:42,685 --> 01:14:45,980 No scar. 697 01:14:50,568 --> 01:14:53,779 MacGregor, will the Devil come tonight? 698 01:14:54,322 --> 01:14:55,907 Oh, no. 699 01:14:55,907 --> 01:14:58,075 What difference does it make to you? 700 01:14:58,075 --> 01:14:59,702 You don't believe in the Devil. 701 01:14:59,869 --> 01:15:02,497 If he were here in front of you, you still wouldn't believe in him. 702 01:15:02,538 --> 01:15:05,458 Because when you don't understand something, you just dismiss it! 703 01:15:06,167 --> 01:15:07,418 Maybe I'm the Devil. 704 01:15:07,418 --> 01:15:08,878 What do you know about it? 705 01:15:08,878 --> 01:15:11,631 Oh, yes, MacGregor, play the Devil! 706 01:15:11,631 --> 01:15:15,301 Not tonight, my dear. There's a virgin among us. 707 01:15:15,718 --> 01:15:17,094 She would be frightened. 708 01:15:17,094 --> 01:15:19,388 Oh, no, I wouldn't! 709 01:15:19,972 --> 01:15:22,225 You see how right I am to give up horror? 710 01:15:22,225 --> 01:15:24,769 Even virgins are no longer afraid of the Devil! 711 01:15:24,769 --> 01:15:25,770 Well... 712 01:15:26,479 --> 01:15:29,273 I'm not quite a virgin. 713 01:15:29,273 --> 01:15:31,776 Either you are or you are not! 714 01:15:31,776 --> 01:15:32,777 Take your pick! 715 01:15:32,902 --> 01:15:36,781 | play ingenues, and my agent says all ingenues are virgins. 716 01:15:37,281 --> 01:15:40,493 And your agent thinks ingenues shouldn't believe in the Devil? 717 01:15:40,910 --> 01:15:42,828 What an age we live in! 718 01:15:42,828 --> 01:15:44,872 Fear is decaying. 719 01:15:44,872 --> 01:15:47,250 Yes, dear, it's getting old. 720 01:15:48,876 --> 01:15:52,463 Aren't you afraid of growing old? 721 01:15:54,048 --> 01:15:56,425 Are you afraid of getting old? 722 01:15:57,593 --> 01:15:59,095 I don't know. 723 01:16:20,116 --> 01:16:21,951 She's not afraid of getting old, my dear. 724 01:16:21,951 --> 01:16:23,536 She's in love. 725 01:16:23,703 --> 01:16:25,997 There's no age for that. 726 01:16:25,997 --> 01:16:28,040 And since she is in love, she is pure. 727 01:16:29,750 --> 01:16:32,003 Since she is in love, she is pure? 728 01:16:33,462 --> 01:16:34,797 Is this always true, MacGregor? 729 01:16:34,797 --> 01:16:36,799 It's always true. 730 01:16:37,550 --> 01:16:40,886 Time is immaterial here. 731 01:16:43,848 --> 01:16:45,182 I love you. 732 01:16:45,766 --> 01:16:46,851 And I love you, too, 733 01:16:46,851 --> 01:16:49,478 my dear old friend. 734 01:16:49,478 --> 01:16:51,772 Please, MacGregor, play the wolf. 735 01:16:53,274 --> 01:16:55,067 And then the werewolf. 736 01:16:55,568 --> 01:16:57,653 And the Devil, please! 737 01:16:57,653 --> 01:17:01,532 I can't play the Devil, Héloise, not for you. 738 01:17:01,532 --> 01:17:03,159 Being the Devil is a dirty business. 739 01:17:03,159 --> 01:17:06,537 It's not creative. You have no choice. 740 01:17:07,580 --> 01:17:11,375 And when you have no choice, you have no dignity. 741 01:17:11,375 --> 01:17:14,420 You must be mean from dawn to dusk, and forever. 742 01:17:15,588 --> 01:17:17,506 You become a machine. 743 01:17:17,506 --> 01:17:22,219 I used to be a mean machine, but it's all over now. 744 01:17:23,179 --> 01:17:26,807 No one can make demands of me. 745 01:17:26,807 --> 01:17:28,434 I am free. 746 01:17:29,352 --> 01:17:33,689 I have the right to be tender. 747 01:17:33,689 --> 01:17:36,442 I'm going to tell you a secret which you'll keep for yourself. 748 01:17:38,694 --> 01:17:42,615 With you, I'll try to be God. 749 01:17:45,326 --> 01:17:46,619 For you alone. 750 01:17:47,453 --> 01:17:50,247 And that's why you're so beautiful to me. 751 01:17:50,247 --> 01:17:51,749 Thanks to you, 752 01:17:52,416 --> 01:17:56,629 I can create for the first time. 753 01:17:56,629 --> 01:17:59,256 What will you create for me, MacGregor? 754 01:18:00,007 --> 01:18:02,760 I create your smile, the softness of your hands, 755 01:18:05,179 --> 01:18:07,223 the look in your eyes, the warmth of your body. 756 01:18:08,599 --> 01:18:10,851 I invent the curve of your back, 757 01:18:10,851 --> 01:18:13,187 and the thrill in you. 758 01:18:13,187 --> 01:18:15,272 I breathe life into you. 759 01:18:15,272 --> 01:18:17,608 Tenderness. 760 01:18:30,621 --> 01:18:31,789 I love you. 761 01:18:32,331 --> 01:18:35,209 I love you, too, 762 01:18:35,209 --> 01:18:36,544 dear old friend. 763 01:20:29,782 --> 01:20:30,825 Cameral! 764 01:20:32,451 --> 01:20:34,620 "The Bunglers," 24, Take One. 765 01:20:44,797 --> 01:20:46,257 Cut! 766 01:20:50,970 --> 01:20:53,222 Shit! 767 01:21:11,949 --> 01:21:14,535 "The Bunglers," 68, Take One. 768 01:21:14,577 --> 01:21:16,745 46, Take One. 769 01:21:19,248 --> 01:21:20,249 Cut. 770 01:21:34,513 --> 01:21:37,474 YOU'RE FIRED 771 01:21:42,521 --> 01:21:44,815 Hurry up, for crissake, there's nothing more to do here. 772 01:21:44,857 --> 01:21:48,611 You morons! Let's pack up. 773 01:21:49,028 --> 01:21:52,031 I'm fed up 774 01:21:52,197 --> 01:21:54,491 with romantic guys. 775 01:21:54,867 --> 01:21:57,536 But I've had my fair share 776 01:21:57,536 --> 01:21:58,537 of old sadists, too. 777 01:21:58,537 --> 01:22:03,667 I need a man-- well, a bunch of men 778 01:22:03,876 --> 01:22:07,796 for the time of a sigh. 779 01:22:08,672 --> 01:22:13,260 Come with me, except the vampires 780 01:22:14,511 --> 01:22:17,097 and Dracula. 781 01:22:36,200 --> 01:22:39,370 What's the matter now? 782 01:22:41,830 --> 01:22:43,499 You are all fired! 783 01:23:15,489 --> 01:23:19,368 Come here and shoot, for crissake! 784 01:23:22,037 --> 01:23:24,081 This way, Tovarich. 785 01:23:28,043 --> 01:23:29,420 What the hell are you doing? 786 01:23:29,420 --> 01:23:31,839 The boss told me to shoot. You better obey him! 787 01:23:32,047 --> 01:23:34,717 What's happening? - He says he no longer gives a damn about horror. 788 01:23:34,717 --> 01:23:36,552 The future of film is in there. 789 01:23:36,552 --> 01:23:38,846 In there? 790 01:23:46,520 --> 01:23:49,898 The future of film? 791 01:23:49,982 --> 01:23:51,358 I can also work with that. - How? 792 01:23:51,400 --> 01:23:52,901 Don't you get it? 793 01:23:52,901 --> 01:23:55,863 Think of all the surfaces I'll have to make-up now! 794 01:23:56,238 --> 01:23:58,240 Fantastic! 795 01:23:58,490 --> 01:24:01,660 Fantastic! 796 01:24:06,331 --> 01:24:07,750 Abélard! 797 01:24:20,304 --> 01:24:22,514 Is that what you call romance? 798 01:24:22,514 --> 01:24:23,724 Oh no, no! 799 01:24:23,724 --> 01:24:26,101 No, no. 800 01:24:26,101 --> 01:24:27,603 We're leaving. 801 01:24:27,603 --> 01:24:29,605 Leaving? - We have to. 802 01:24:29,605 --> 01:24:30,647 Yes. 803 01:24:31,148 --> 01:24:34,526 Abélard, you know what you have to do? 804 01:24:41,867 --> 01:24:43,452 Héloise. 805 01:24:43,911 --> 01:24:45,537 Abélard. 806 01:24:46,038 --> 01:24:47,164 | Khow. 807 01:25:17,361 --> 01:25:19,238 And time will stand still? 808 01:25:19,238 --> 01:25:20,989 Yes, Héloise. 809 01:25:20,989 --> 01:25:22,699 And how will you do that, MacGregor? 810 01:25:22,699 --> 01:25:23,742 It's simple. 811 01:25:24,535 --> 01:25:25,619 If you want 812 01:25:25,619 --> 01:25:27,871 time to stand still, space has to fly away. 813 01:25:28,872 --> 01:25:30,207 And you can do that? 814 01:25:30,207 --> 01:25:32,751 There's nothing I cannot do. 815 01:25:32,751 --> 01:25:34,044 Will you court me? 816 01:25:34,044 --> 01:25:36,338 Of course I will. 817 01:25:36,797 --> 01:25:39,007 And maybe I... 818 01:25:39,007 --> 01:25:41,301 Shh! Don't say it yet. 819 01:25:41,301 --> 01:25:43,178 I'll remake the universe for you. 820 01:25:43,178 --> 01:25:45,681 I'll remake it the way you want it to be. 821 01:25:46,849 --> 01:25:48,809 How will you manage? 822 01:25:48,809 --> 01:25:52,855 I don't know, but for you, I'll find a way. 823 01:25:52,855 --> 01:25:54,022 Only the moon will be left, 824 01:25:54,022 --> 01:25:56,441 all white. The moon, us, 825 01:25:56,984 --> 01:25:57,985 and the trees. 826 01:25:57,985 --> 01:26:00,487 It will be marvelous. 827 01:26:00,737 --> 01:26:03,073 We'll have to sweep everything clean. 828 01:26:03,490 --> 01:26:05,534 Shouldn't we go somewhere else? 829 01:26:05,617 --> 01:26:09,246 We'll stay here. We'll just have to sweep away everything. 830 01:26:10,747 --> 01:26:13,417 To sweep away all that's ugly, all that's noisy. 831 01:26:13,458 --> 01:26:16,545 No noise, except the sound of the wind. 832 01:26:18,297 --> 01:26:19,631 We'll manage. 833 01:26:19,631 --> 01:26:20,674 Listen! 834 01:26:21,508 --> 01:26:25,971 The earth is trembling. It's Abélard, isn't it? 835 01:26:27,347 --> 01:26:28,891 Of course. Come! 836 01:28:12,327 --> 01:28:13,912 Subtitles FAL